Posts Tagged “sad”
Since Spider’s death 10 days ago, things have not been the same around here. I know that animals grieve the loss of a family member or close friend as much as us humans do, but obviously, their grief manifests in slightly different ways from ours. We can see the obvious signs of apathy, searching behaviour, clinginess or loss/increase of appetite, but what really goes through their little heads is something we cannot possibly understand.
Ruby absolutely adores Lugosi, but has never been very close to Spider. Nevertheless, the first few days after Spider’s passing she was very clingy and vocal, followed by now being rather withdrawn. The whole dynamics in our household are wrong now, and everybody knows how cats hate change!
Getting back to understanding Lugosi’s grief… I’m trying. And whenever I am close to Lugosi I do actually *feel* his pain, and it hurts me more than my own grief over Spider to see him suffer.
Lugosi and Spider have been together since birth and have never been apart (except for vet visits). Whereas I can talk to friends and family and creatively work through my grief, Lugosi has no little feline buddies he can “talk” to and grieve and share his pain with, so losing the “yin” to his “yang” must be a terrible blow to him and something he cannot understand or make sense of.
“He still isn’t back. It’s been such a long time and he’s not back. Even his smell is fading everywhere – let me stick my nose in the air and see if I can find some more scent of him…. [walks around the room] ah, there’s a little bit of him there, but it’s faint. And there too, but yesterday the same spot smelled more of him. There has also been nothing new deposited by him in our communal toilets for ages, and I have not seen my brother for the longest time now.
Is he going to come back? I don’t know. I am confused. I have never been separated from my twin and I don’t understand what has happened with him and where he went.
From the way the human acts, all confused and crying and acting very different from her usual self, there is something definitely not right. His smell is also no longer on her.
The girl [Ruby] has not been very helpful. She is suddenly more clingy than usual and I’m not in the mood for her. She has been acting strange and erratic too recently. My stomach has been sick and pooping has been painful for a few days. I really miss my brother, I don’t know if he will ever come back…”
I don’t know whether this is what he is thinking, because cognitive and sentient thoughts are really just how us humans think and relate, but no matter what, I am there for him if and when he needs me, and I tell him this, along with other reassuring words, various times a day. And that I LOVE HIM.
Almost 3 weeks ago, Spider, who turned 18 last month, was found to have a growth in his mouth, which I thought was just a bad tooth. It turned out to be a squamous cell carcinoma, one of the most aggressive cancers in cats. The tumour has since then spread and he now has swollen lymph nodes under his chin on the side of the tumour, and he can’t eat on his own because of pain/discomfort.
On my vet’s instructions, I fed him water, electrolytes and liquid food in a little plastic syringe, which he seems to be enjoying and he has no problems swallowing. He otherwise behaves normally, if not a bit lethargic, and he uses his scratcher for his claws, goes to the toilet normally and responds with big rumbles of purrs to my cuddles and kisses.
Today he is staying at the vets to get IV fluids and corticosteroids. The latter may just help with the pain and reduce inflammation so he may be able to eat on his own again, at least for a while until there is nothing else we can do…
He is comfortable at the moment and not in pain (unless he tries to eat) or suffering. I myself am devastated, of course, and I am already hurting so much from the thought of losing him, I don’t know if I can deal with even more pain when the time comes to let him go. I will just have to take it one day at a time.
I am sorry I have to dump this sad news on our fans and followers, but as much as I want to share only the “ups”, the “downs” make up about 5-10% of our lives too, and it’s important to remember them so we can appreciate the good times so much more… And besides, you have been a big part of his *life* so far, we would now like you to be with him until the end.
Here are a few videos of Spider from my Instagram feed, from the last few days.
Mummy nurse to the rescue! Looking after an old cat dying of cancer is totally heartbreaking, but it’s got to be done. Spider is comfortable now and I give him soft food, water and electrolyte solution from a syringe every few hours, but I’m waiting for the vets to call me in a couple of hours, in case she still wants me to bring him in to go on a drip for the day…. Send me strength to get through losing my baby! 💔😿😢💔😿😢💔😿😢💔😿😢 #cats #lettinggo #cancer #cancerincats #squamouscellcarcinoma #tabbies #tabbycats #gatos #katzen #neko #ilovecats #kitties #cute #pets #animals #catstagram #catsofinstagram #catlover #catlady #madcatlady #forever #crazycatlady #catsoflanzarote #seniorcat #oldcat #mycats #catlife #meow #food #catfood
Cancer boy Spider still very much enjoying his cuddles. 💖💖💖💖 #cats #lettinggo #cancer #cancerincats #lovecats #squamouscellcarcinoma #tabbies #tabbycats #gatos #katzen #neko #ilovecats #kitties #cute #pets #animals #catstagram #catsofinstagram #catlover #catlady #madcatlady #forever #crazycatlady #catsoflanzarote #seniorcat #oldcat #mycats #catlife #meow #gingercat
Soon it’s time to let my beautiful Spider go. It’s already hurting so much, how can I possibly cope with *more* pain than this? 😢😿😢😿😢😿 I took him back to the vets this morning because he wasn’t eating well the last few days and yesterday he refused even his favourite treats. There is a swelling under his jaw/chin and my vet said that the tumour had already grown into that area. It’s only been TWO WEEKS since his biopsy, but this tumour is as aggressive as they come and I couldn’t believe that in only such a short time it would grow so much. I thought I would have a few more months with him, but now it’s only going to be days, maybe a week or two. There’s nothing more we can do now, except give him bunorprephine (morphine) to make him more comfortable, and squirt a glucolyte solution in his mouth because he won’t/can’t eat. It’s too late for chemo, and even if it wasn’t, I don’t think I would want to put him through the nasty side effects at his old age, only so he has a few more months. There’s so much more I want to say, but I would talk forever, and I know most of you just want to see cute cat pictures here. But this is also part of life, and as much as I want to post only the “ups”, the “downs” make up about 5-10% of my life too, and it’s important to remember them so I can appreciate the ups so much more. “Universe, send me the strength to get through this, and send peace and no pain to Spider.” #cats #lettinggo #cancer #cancerincats #squamouscellcarcinoma #tabbies #tabbycats #gatos #katzen #katt #neko #ilovecats #kitties #cute #pets #animals #catstagram #catsofinstagram #catlover #catlady #madcatlady #forever #crazycatlady #catsoflanzarote #seniorcat #oldcat #mycats #catlife #meow #catphotos
Someone has been listening to the many voices of pet owners here in Lanzarote, and we now finally have a crematorium for our furbabies! I know this is quite a sad subject, but an important one too. I for one, would love to be able to make my kitties’ passing as loving and luxurious as all the things that I have given them in life.
Pet owners in Lanzarote who lost a beloved pet, have had until now no option to give their deceased pet a decent and dignified send-off. If your pet died at the vets or was found dead in the road, it will be sent to the municipal animal crematorium in Arrecife and chucked in with all the other animals, including roadkill and leftover carcasses from slaughter houses. To a loving pet owner, this is very non-personal and quite horrible really. If you have a garden, then sometimes burial is possible, but many of us live in apartments, and some of us go and find a secluded spot in the country to do a discrete burial – both options are, however, illegal.
Hela Pet Crematorium is in Arrecife, and their cremation service (based on a 5kg animal), including one of their very sweet basic urns, costs around €75, so is very affordable to most people.
Having two 18 year old tabby boys makes me aware every day that their clocks are ticking and we don’t have that much time left together, and I am glad that when the time comes, I now have the option to see them off to the Rainbow Bridge with the dignity the deserve…
My neighbours just lost their 10 month old ginger tom Buster, whom you probably know from previous posts and pictures on this blog.
He was run over by a car last weekend, and after putting up posters on Monday, they got a call from someone saying that they had found him dead in the street on Saturday evening. He was normally locked in at night, but didn´t return that evening.
I am so very sad about this, and so sorry for my neighbours´ loss – Buster was always around when I opened my front door, and he frequently “invaded” my apartment with his unique character and cheekiness, and would play with my 3 cats.
I miss him very much, but at the same time, I feel like I want to celebrate his life and all the joy and laughs and silliness that he gave us, and I feel grateful that he was in our lives, however short his time was on this Earth.
Here´s the video again that I made of him last month, and a few photos. Rest in Peace, sweetie. 🙁
Buster and Spider
My best friend Anneke had to face the hardest task any animal lover can ever think of – she had to have Luca, one of her friendly ferals that she had looked after on her patio for about 4 years, put to sleep yesterday.
He had a malignant, progressive and incurable cancer of the nose and the tissue was already half eaten away, and there was nothing more our vets could do, and it was the kindest thing to let him go. He held on though, his little heart wouldn´t stop beating, and our vet Vanessa had to inject him into the heart in the end. It´s just so unbelievably sad, and I´m sending my most heartfelt hugs again to Anneke as I write this, once again in tears.
Luca was a very gentle soul, never demanding, always shy and sweet, and over the years, Anneke´s TLC turned him from being totally feral into a mellow kitty that we could even pet a little, and he returned this affection with a little head bump each time. As sad as his death may be, we like to think that for a feral he had a good life, his own bed and shelter, food every day and lots of TLC, whether he wanted the latter or not, plus in the later stages of his cancer, Anneke also got him the veterinary care that he needed, even though we knew that this kind of cancer was eventually going to end up “worst case scenario”.
Rest in peace, little guy. You´ll be always in our hearts.
Pic of Luca chilling on the roof, before the cancer ate away his nose.
Whatever it is mate, it´s not that bad. Really, it ain´t.
(a neighbour´s ginger tom on the roof opposite my apartment)
Pompon is dead.
He died at around 8am this morning. Because Claudia had to work we decided that I can care better for him at my place, and I tried everything all night feeding him with a syringe every 2 hours and giving him water, but in the end he got worse and started breathing rapidly and vomiting brown liquid. I rang the emergency vet at 6am, and he did say there´s nothing much I can do, but he might have got food into his lungs cause he also suspected an injury to his thorax.
I don´t want to give you any more gory details, cause I´m feeling very empty and sad at the moment. Sadly, even though I had tried to reach Claudia on the phone this morning from 6am onwards so she could come and be with him, she didn´t hear her mobile phone until later.
Pompon´s on his way to the Rainbow Bridge now where his suffering is over…. bless him. *sniff*